6/19/2015

Things That Need To Be Said

*I'm writing this rant at six in the morning, to Hybrid Theory-- You've been warned* 

If you're somehow unaware, Maddie posted a photo-shoot on her blog last night, ending the post with saying how she feels so trapped at blogging and frustrated with the AG community.
Talking to Maddie through texts, I've been with her side by side as she's been annoyed, & tbh I'm ticked as well.
So you all get to read my lovely little rant on the AG community and the crap side of it.


For some reason I came into the blogging world thinking that the AG community is all peaches and cream. For the most part it is, but I've also found there's a lot of judgmental, flower children who have issues with what others do.
Look, I get it that some of the AG bloggers are older than others. I get it that we may be more mature, and not every one, particularly not younger people, are going to like what we post.
But that does NOT give you incentive to judge us.
I don't know about you, but I was taught to treat others as I want to be treated. The way some of you act, it's like you're opening a door to having yourself being judged for what you do. Because clearly, if you're treating others like that, don't you want to be treated that way too?
I feel very firmly that a certain maturity level needs to be attained before one enters a platform of social media. There is a 13 year old age limit on sites for a reason. That said, I know a lot of bloggers under that age who are very mature, and I commend them.
But circling back around to judging-- I honestly don't know why this has become such of an issue. If you do not like something someone blogs there are two things you can do.
1.) Unfollow/don't read their posts.
2.) Keep your mouth shut.

Sometimes in life we just have to bite our tongues, okay? There's a lot of things and posts I don't necessarily see eye-to-eye with, but you don't see me leaving slight, snide comments. I simply read them, know that I have a differing opinion, and move on with my life. Unless somebody specifically asks for their reader's views/personal opinions, we should all learn to just keep our opinions inside of us.
And something pertaining specifically to Maddie that I feel I should address-- Maddie should not have to "compromise" in any way because of the language she uses. It is her blog-- last I remember, there is no crime for sometimes cussing. As we discussed earlier; if you don't likes something, then by God, unfollow! The poor girl shouldn't have to fret about whether or not she warned you all that she said something in a post.

I've always felt a little out of place in the blogging world. I find it likely that it's the fact I talk about stuff most of you don't know about. Whether it's music, movies, people, etc. Sometimes I feel like I should "dumb things down" in a sense, and not mention anything anymore. I already partially have. I know some of my older readers will remember the completely fandom-induced Adaline of AGITS. I still am her, but I stopped being like that because I knew half, or more, of my readers had no clue what I was discussing. But if there's any conclusion I've come to through all of this, it's that I really don't care anymore. I am completely and utterly done blogging for others when I should be blogging for myself. This is my own corner of the internet. And I'm going to treat it as that.

One last thing I want to address before I sign off and go crawl back into the hole from whence I came.
I'd like to think I'm a very sweet person. I don't like confrontation. But if there's anything that's going to turn my gut and get me annoyed, it's when you tick off my friends. I've always had friends who've got my back and in turn I've got theirs. If I have maddened any of you by this, or ever defended something in the comments, it's not because I want to argue. Come on, guys. You know me. I'm not out to smack talk or lecture anybody-- all I want to do is make sure friends, and anybody else for that matter, are treated right.
It really burns me to know that Maddie wants to quit blogging because her reception in the AG community has gotten worse; all because she may not be a perfect flower child.
'Cause you know what? There are all kinds of different people in the world. And if you girls are going to make someone feel so unwelcome because she's different-- you're going to have a rude awakening when you go out into the world and find that any and every single person on this earth is different, has different personalities and isn't perfect. Good luck trying to fit everybody into your socially acceptable mold.



~Adaline 

37 comments:

  1. Dear Adi,
    I cried while reading this.
    I still am.
    I really haven't commented on your blog much, which I'm quite sorry for, because you are truly fantastic. That'll be changing starting now.
    I have to say that sometimes I don't understand the things you talk about in terms of bands, partly because I'm not very much into music. But trust me, I read it anyways. I have an IRL friend who is obsessed with the same things as you (maybe I can connect you sometime), and she was actually super excited when I started finally being able to keep Gerard Way and Patrick Stump separate because I kept getting them confused. You know why? Because I was reading your blog, and even though I wasn't into music I still tried to respect that you were and din't just skip that post because it wasn't something I was interested in. Which, don't get me wrong, I agree with the fact that you don't have to read something if you don't agree with it. There are plenty of blogs I don't read because I think the contents are, well.....yeah. But I tried to respect the fact that you were into that by reading it anyways, because I really like you and I look up to you.
    And you know, it made me cry that you've had this issue. I've had a bit of this issue as well, because I have strong opinions and am very pro-diversity. I actually was about to delete one of my favorite posts, because I'd gotten so many rude comments (and the ones I have published are by far the nicest). Just as I logged on to the computer I decided to check your blog first, and I'm glad I did. Because you know what? I'm not going to delete that post anymore. I'm sick and tired of being steamrolled over by all the younger girls who should not be on the internet. I'm proud of you for posting this, and I am 100% behind both you and Maddie.
    Sometimes I wish there was a forum for older AG fans to be themselves....I'll have to ask my parents about creating one.
    Again, I'm absolutely a huge fan of this post, and I think a lot of doll bloggers need a (very large) wake up call. I do agree with the fact that some of the younger bloggers are very mature, but I also think that a lot aren't.
    So, to both you and Maddie (if she reads this), congrats on being yourself.
    I'm super proud of you both.

    Kathleen

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    1. First off-- I so didn't intend to make anybody cry. *hugs you*
      Your friend sounds amazing, and I'd love to talk to her if you manage to work out a way. I appreciate you reading and looking up to me; I know the stuff I talk about certainly doesn't appeal to everyone, and it means a lot that you stuck around merely for liking me as a person.
      I'm immensely proud of you for not deleting your post-- the world needs more people who aren't afraid to speak their thoughts.
      I'd love for there to be a forum for older AG fans. I think that'd be lovely. ^-^
      Thank you so much, Kathleen. <3
      xo Adi

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    2. Awww *hugs back*
      Um, are on you instagram or tumblr? I know she is, so I can tell you her usernames. I love reading about you -- I think you're an extremely interesting person, and I love reading your eloquent (and sometimes silly) posts.
      Why thank you. That means a whole lot, especially since it's coming from you.
      Wouldn't it? I'm slightly drooling over the idea. I know there is one which Nethilia is a member of, but it's mainly adults, and it talks about a lot of older subjects. Which I have no problem with, and that's something I'd like to be able to do more when talking about dolls, but maybe we could start one for teens/mature tweens in which there was discussion of older topics and current events but maybe not things such as rape (which I know has been mentioned once or twice on there) if it's mainly for older tweens and teens. Blargh sorry I'm brainstorming in your comments, aren't I?
      No, thank you. You're a huge inspiration to me, and you truly don't care what other people say.

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  2. Mic dropped
    Mind blown
    That was epic.

    It's not just the young bloggers. Some of the older ones are a tad... Intense?... Too.

    I haven't gotten any snide comments yet, but I haven't posted anything strange or severely Gwen either. This place just kind of has the wrong vibe.
    Ah well. I think I'll poke the AG fandom with a stick sometime, and see how it reacts.

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    1. Haha, thank you. :3

      I agree. Some older ones are intense as well. My own personal experiences have led me to find more issues with younger ones, but I certainly know what you're talking about.

      I look forward to the day you poke the AG fandom. I'm sure it'll be interesting.
      xo Adi

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    2. I look forward to the day you poke it, as well. It will be rather entertaining. ;)

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    3. Definitely :).

      - Ellie

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  3. That was AMAZING!

    I totally agree with all of this! My blog is maybe a little too happy and cheerful. I think I might tone it down, show the real me.

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  4. I totally agree with your drive for a better AG blogging community. Bravo!
    But while we're getting honest out here, now I'm kinda feeling....
    Well, I'm 13. But still, some things my parents wouldn't be okay with. Can I use music for an example? Unless my parents give me the okay, I can't listen to it. Movies? Can't watch them without permission. Now, I can't speak for everyone, but I'm pretty sure lots of people out there are in the same boat. I am pretty much positive I havn't left a nasty comment on someone's post. Not because I'm a goody good, as some might say, but because THAT'S JUST WRONG AND THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG IF YOU THINK IT'S FINE.
    All these posts-they're making me feel awkward. Sometimes I won't agree with something. Bad words for example. Who knows, they might just be bad to me. But I havn't commented anything. Really, I just skim over them because I like everything else people do.
    Okay, lastly, I feel super bad that Maddie is getting some negative imput on her blog as well as some misunderstandment. Because of this I wrote a post last night, addressed to everyone. Including myself.

    http://hobbitsathogwarts.blogspot.com/2015/06/a-rant-of-peculiar-sorts.html

    ~Kathryn

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    1. I understand where you're coming from, and I completely understand if somebody has an issue with things like that. I have no problem if somebody doesn't like what I do because it's not right in their eyes. What I don't find okay is the fact that people try to shove their opinions down other's throats, or tell them that something is bad when it's truly just a personal view.
      I know; I read your post.
      xo Adi

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  5. I agree that nobody should put pressure on anybody else, in the AG blogging community and elsewhere, to fit into a cookie-cutter mold. Maddie should feel free to be herself without anyone judging her, and I'm sad that she does feel like she wants to leave because people (young and older) *are*. It's wrong.

    ~Lydia~ <3

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    1. I completely agree with you. :3
      xo Adi

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  6. Thank you, someone finally said it!
    I'm behind all of my friends 100%, and I'll defend them, no matter what. If I read something I don't agree with, then so what? That won't change anything. I'm not going to write an angry comment or change my opinion if them because we have differing views of the world! Why can't some people see that it sometimes isn't all about them, and that sometimes their opinions don't need to be shared?
    I'm terrified of being different or writing a post that isn't really for the supposed AG age range. Although I've never really had a negative comment, I'm still just scared, I suppose.
    Thanks for writing this, Adi.
    Charlotte

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    1. I'm glad somebody else feels the same. I wish others would come to realize that their opinions aren't fact and that everybody can believe whatever they want to.
      Thank you for commenting. ^-^
      xo Adi

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    2. Gosh, talk about how rubbish the AG community is.
      I'm getting it in the neck now; I've had two negative comments about how swearing is inappropriate on my rant post. Both anonymous. The cowardice of some people amazes me.

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  7. I feel like when you write a blog for dolls, children will come to it, which is why I don't think that cursing should be used on them. A child doesn't have to be a blogger to see your blog. Often, they're coming for the crafts and photoshoots, looking for ideas for their own dolls. That being said, I'm sorry that she feels trapped. I don't agree with her choices, but I also don't have to read her blog. (I actually haven't ever heard of Maddie before now, but I would never leave a rude comment just because I didn't like her blog. I actually went to her blog after reading this, and while I don't like some of the language, her blog is very lovely. She is a wonderful photographer.)

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    1. Considering I (and Maddie) aren't really crafty/normal photo-shoot kind of gals, I feel as if perhaps we're excluded from the normal bloggers you're referencing. I'm aware that I have readers who aren't Bloggers, but I'm also aware that my blog is quite clearly from the start marked as a different AG blog. Considering there are so many AG blogs run that cater to younger fans, I feel like there should be some that appeal to older audiences. One of those blogs is Maddie's, and considering she's so popular, it doesn't appear that her language has deterred her from gaining a following.
      xo Adi

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    2. mm, hello *waves*, i'm maddie, as you probably already know. pleasure to meet you, mate. so sorry you disagree with my what, maybe one(?) post that has one or two debatable words. can't please everyone, though. just for the record, my blog is a place for me to share my photography with others, and i don't typically post tutorials. in fact, the only ones are a few simple hair tutorials and two sewing tutorials from quite a while back--almost a year. i thank you for realizing that you don't need to read my blog, i honestly wish there were more people like that. and thank you for the compliment on my photography. :) oh, and i don't think you really meant it as this, but the way you worded your first two sentences made it sound like dolls are soully for children. again, not what i believe you meant it to sound like. oh, and sorry i'm not adi. i know you were probably expecting her.

      -maddie

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    3. They're not only for children, but lots of children play with them. Lots of children will look to blogs for ideas for their dolls (not just tutorials, photo shoots too), and that's why I think that. But, that's my personal opinion and you can blog how you want to. Keep doing what you do and don't feel other people pressuring you how to run your own site. ☺

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  8. YES YES YES THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU *jumps up and hops around the room gesturing excitedly to computer screen*
    Seriously though, this is all so true. Everyone's always like "Oh, but the AG fandom is so nice and accepting!" And you know what? I believed it, before I came here. I thought the stuff Nethilia of AG Outsider went through was just an extreme case. But now, I know better - and it became apparent to me the moment I started posting.
    The AG fandom is made up of a bunch of people who are white racist homophobic transphobic phobic-of-other-religions phobic-of-people-with-disabilities and every other kind of social phobia people. They hunt out and attempt to destroy any who are not of their own kind. They hate and ridicule those who are different. Really, it's a pretty crap community, to be honest. There are some individual amazing people - like you and Maddie - but the general vibe is Intolerance.
    Everyone says the AG community is amazing and perfect and "omg there's never any drama I feel so glad to be here", but if they're saying that they're either
    A) delusional
    B) one of those fundamentalists themselves
    or C) a bloody coward.
    And yes, exactly, people shouldn't shove their own opinions down others' throats. It's disrespectful and sometimes offensive and just generally rude. Plus, it's making people no more inclined to agree with those opinions - it kinda backfires.
    Thank you again for writing this. This needs to be taped up everywhere.

    - Ellie

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    1. that was bloody perfect ellie.

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    1. We are not all white One of the best doll bloggers I know of , is African American .. We are not all Christian . A good friend of mine who has a private AG blog is Atheist. We are not all rich . I'm not sure if I have enough money to buy a pack of gum . We are not all 9 . Doll Diaries , American Girl Fan, and a bunch of other AG blogs are run by adults .

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    2. And what does that make you, Watermelon? You can't stereotype the entire community without stereotyping yourself. That's not what Adi's post is saying the AG community is made of, she's saying that people need to stop telling other people what to do with their own blogs. Isn't that exactly what you're doing?

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    3. I think what Watermelon was trying to say was that people of that general type are the kind who, at least, from her viewpoint or as the issue has affected her, have been a fair amount of this problem. Of course, not all of them have, and not all bloggers (in fact, very few) fit that exact mold. I believe Watermelon was trying to harness hyperbole in order to make a point. However, I definitely see where you're coming from and how her comment may have unintentionally offended people, and I can assure you as a good friend of hers that she would never mean to cause offense to either of you.
      It is very true, however, that we must stick to discussing what Adi has brought up in her post (and things relating very directly to it, what we can do to solve it, etc.). I suggest all people commenting on this post, whether in this specific thread or not, make an effort to do so in order to avoid unnecessary drama.
      Have an awesome day :).

      - Ellie

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  10. Couldn't have said it better. :)
    -Leah

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  11. I wish their wasn't a cookie cutter mold that everybody has to be to be a perfect blogger. We created these blogs to share our dolls and learn and grow, not to be tearing each other apart. I hope we can fix this situation and stop judging everybody else. I'm glad you have friends that you stick up for you! (And do the same for you!) Honestly, I'm not a negative person (I used to be...) more of a look-on the bright side and I just focus on the amazing friendships I have made in the blogging community and ignore the hate :)

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  12. I could type up a whole comment saying how much i loved this post and support it the whole way and how people shouldn't treat maddie the way some do because she is an amazing human and is perfect the way she is, but i'll just say
    good job on getting this out there. people could use it, and like kathryn, maybe i'm not allowed to be completely informed on everything, but that doesn't stop me from coming to your blogs (yours and maddie's). you both run amazing blogs and they're perfect.

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  13. *Standing Ovation* Adi! That .. that was just a really thought provoking post.. Maddie if you do read this comment although I'm not sure I have commented on your blog Hang in there Girl! :D Everyone is allowed to post what they want and NO ONE should get hate for it.. We blog what we love :-)
    ~Evie
    xoxox

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  14. Jeez, Adi. I couldn't have said it any better to be honest. I am so sick of blogging right now for this very reason. SO DANG SICK OF IT. Why people have to give Maddie a hard time specfically, I don't know. Another thing I don't understand is why people can't keep their mouth shut. Like you said, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all. AT ALL. People are so clueless sometimes. We all have things that we like that others aren't going to like. I don't understand why people can't just accept that. Adi, I don't judge you for your music. Nor do I judge Maddie. I don't see the sense in it. Everyone is different, so if your likes are different than mine, then so be it. I'm not going to go commenting nasty things on your posts because I don't like it. I don't see the reasoning behind it.

    Adi dear, I'm going to go write something very long and very serious on the blog now, so I'll stop writing.
    ~Ginny

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  15. Wow. That was an incredible speech Adi!! I personally haven't experienced any of the hate that's going on or seen it but I have witnessed the effects of what it's doing and it makes me just ugh really sad. I didn't know that AG dolls could turn into full out bullying! I saw a lot of it on Instagram and I had to delete it because it was just disgusting to see. But I back you and Maddie 100%! I have a totally different music style, and perspective on things than you, but sometimes the things you post are so correct that I totally agree! I also learn so much from you guys and it's awesome! So keep doing what you're doing!!
    -Lydia
    http://dollyfernfriends.blogspot.co.nz

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  16. You're right that people shouldn't judge others. Everyone is different and likes/does different things. That doesn't give people the right to be mean. Everyone has the right to their own opinion.

    -Morgan

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  17. You are such a good writer Adi! This was complete perfection. It makes me feel sick to my stomach at the idea of people brining each other down in this type of community. Everyone does things there own way, and we should all just try to respect that or not say anything at all.

    ~ Mint

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  18. Some things to say-
    1) This was absolutely amazing Adi. I can see you becoming an inspirational speaker sometime in the future!
    2) Why can't everyone just accept that people are different, and that if they don't like what someone does, they don't have to ever look at their blog again! We all have one thing in common- a love of dolls. That doesn't mean that everyone who love dolls have everything else in common too. I think it's nice that there's such a variety of doll bloggers like you and Maddie because who knows what you might learn? Because of your blog, I found two things that I don't know how I would be living without- British YouTubers (mainly Dan and Phil) and Fall Out Boy. I hope people can cut down on the drama and bullying or we'll have to have our own AG court or something.
    -Claire

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    1. Also, I feel like I'm limited in what I do on my blog, because I know that I have a lot of young readers, like my little cousin who wants a blog just like mine, so... I don't know what to do.

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  19. This needed to be said. This blogging universe is a place where girls should feel SAFE and comfortable by the support of other girls. And can I just easy something? We are blogging about DOLLS here and I really can't think of a blogging subject that should be more positive than that! What are we doing criticizing others just so that other's post will live up to our own private and personal standards! Great post, mic dropped.
    -Samanthadolls

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